The past few days I have really been trying to do everything right and to maximise the amount of nutrition I am getting. Really I should be trying to do that everyday, but I'm known for self-sabotage.
I'm really beginning to understand that I have complete control over my own life and if I really wanted to heal, I could. I have discovered the basic principles to healing, it's just sticking to them which is the incredibly hard thing.

I have been good this week. I've made meat broths and had them every day. I've had cod liver oil every morning and liver and oysters almost every day too. All my meats and fats are biodynamic. I've pushed through 3 horrible days at work where oxalate dumping was really getting the better of me. I'm proud of myself.

I reacted awfully to the biodynamic pork (not fed corn/soy) I tried from the market. The fatigue, puffy face and weird skin colour was enough for me to know it was a no-go. I fell asleep an hour after eating it, and slept for 12.5 hours only to was up still exhausted. This is why I can't do eggs, fish or poultry also. It is a puzzle I'm often trying to solve. Now I know it is the MEAT I am reacting to, and nothing the animal has eaten. It all started when my diet got ridiculously limited as I started to fear food, and was eating foods very high in oxalate (white potatoes and rice). So I wonder if stored oxalate has something to do with it, since my body was too weak to dump during this time.

This week I am doubling my cod liver oil dose to 1/2 tsp (I'm at 1/4tsp at the moment). I seem to be fine with this amount. Some days I even crave it, and same with the liver..especially during oxalate dumps when a tonne of the body's resources are depleted. I'm also starting on the new batch of sauerkraut juice. I'm also doubling my B vitamin dose, so I'll be taking 2 50mg complexes a day..100mg B6. Prepare for dumping.

I'm trying not to get caught up in 'dreaming' of what I want to turn out like. I am more-so thinking of what I can achieve and being courageous with that. Hopefully this will help keep me on track.